Thorn in the Flesh

 I am making a stand against inappropriate bare flesh- so will start with the tourist who flaunted her droopy boobs at the roulette table.  Boobs are after all mammary glands, the purpose of which is to suckle ones offspring and enough people find the sight of a breastfeeding mother to be offensive; she didn't even have that reason  What was she thinking?

    Perhaps she was a high fashion follower and became enthused by watching anorexic models sashaying along the catwalk,  their necklines to their navels and thought she would look good in such an outfit.  She misjudged the effect.  The bony chested models hip sway their deadpan way above te heads of their audience and one has to be quick to catch a glimpse of a shy nipple.

    No doubt the nubile tourist presented more of a challenge to the concentration of other gamblers. Sadly we cannot judge - our photography has not reached the innovative heights of Hogwarts so we had to be content with a simple static pose.

    Second on  my list are trousers that are worn at half-mast.  Not the return of the pedal pushers but the should-be-long-but-do-not-quite-make-it  variety.  Are their wearers in mourning? Perhaps for that lost youth personified by the middle age spread that leaves their trousers hoveding around their anklebones.

    Once upon a time a glimpse of ankle was considered shocking, in public that is.  Of course the dominant males who made this decree did so wisely.  They were, after all, well aware of the effect of bare  flesh on their testosterone charged psyches.  Perhaps the appearance of so much flesh in today's fashion stems from the well documented lowering of the male's agility to reproduce.  Modern living has lowered the sperm count to dangerous levels it is said.  Dangerous, that is, for the future of the human race.

    However many young women are doing their bit to up the ante in the fight to save the popul`ation from extinction.  It is said that belly dancing has much subtlety in its execution, how sad that the same cannot be said the sight of bejewelled  belly buttons thrusting ft one over the top of precariously attached trousers.

    `So much flesh could be a tool to avert the obesity boom, seeing rolls of flesh when I am handed my cafe lunch puts me in danger of becoming reacquainted with  my breakfast meusli.

     And the ultimate arena in the fight against flesh and cleavage must be of the buttock variety.  Acceptable on the beach, cute on a baby, de rigueur  in the girlie magazines but never, oh please  never again in my favourite coffee shop.

 

    I am sure that the Health Department would have an implied, if not written, ruling against such a practice.  After all they require a doot between the loo and the lunchers; surely there should be a layer of cloth between the crack and the clients.